On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel,
Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings, and a barrel.
And if Grandma’s Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass,
It can be re-gifted straight to Santa’s ass.

‘Though I am a frequent flyer with Delta they did not mind offending me, a Christian, with an email stating “Happy Holidays From The Delta Family”.’

Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise
Over mulled wine with you
On the twenty-fifth day of the twelfth month
The sleigh bells are in time, ringing true.