Although I’m not sure what the site itself has to offer, the very idea of Free Katie is enough to make me inclined to assist the cause in any way I can.

At first I thought Katie Holmes was just a bit naïve, and we all cringe whenever an old man takes a young, fertile woman out of the market, but that’s the dating game for you. So, I was happy enough for Tom Cruise and the 26-year-old star of such masterpieces as The Gift and Disturbing Behavior to be going out.

Cruise has been telling everyone who will listen what a wonderful woman Holmes is, as she has made it clear that they will not have sex. This is, again, sort of how relationships work.

Now, it is reported that Cruise has converted Holmes to his religion, Scientology. This filled me with a pure, wholesome rage—not the kind that makes you smash your mouse against the desk, or break light poles with your fists, a rage without any physical manifestations.

You miserable bastard. Putting that shit into her head.

So, Free Katie, and send a message to weirdos everywhere to stop propagating their weird brainwash cults.