You better watch out,
you better not cry.
You better not hurl,
or you get no pie.

And so it was that the weed delivery guy—hardworking, dedicated, and discreet—saved Christmas in the nick of time.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.

God bless each of my swollen testicles.

If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.

O holy night! the… something something… distant
It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
Jesus was born and so I get presents.
Thank you, Jesus for being born.